Did you know that there are signs on the streets of our great city which point with assuredness towards the existence and knowledge of a parallel universe? And that an explorer of this other realm has left signposts in three London streets which tell of great lost civilisations, wars, tribes and cultures?
Probably not. And that’s why we’re here!
Today we went looking for the clues to this legendary universe, known as ‘Kcymaerxthaere’ (pronounced Ky-MAIR-icks-theer) after stumbling across the first key to the multi-dimensional puzzle on Old Compton Street during our Curiosities of London Walking Tour.
Confused? That’s understandable. Let us interpret.
Dangeroos are giant war kangeroos with the ability to disembowel someone within 20 paces with their huge claws. At the Battle of the Devils Marbles, their power destroyed the Material Alliance, causing the Tehachapic peoples to become refugees. On their subsequent flight, the defeated Tehachapic came across the devastation here, and assumed that the Dangeroos were responsible. Henceforth the event became known as the Great Dangeroo Flood.
Wait, what? Don’t worry, it’ll become clearer in time. Honest…
Using our own other-worldly navigational skills, we set sail for the choppy waters of Whitechapel, taking refuge in Angel Alley, where we found the next sign:
We’ve all heard of the Royal Family of Rockall right? And we remember when Martha Tabran died and her sister Esther flew into a rage against the Crown Prince who was accused of the crime? It turns out that the Prince was not actually guilty, but was so decadent he deserved his fate anyhow. The upshot was that it sparked the rebellion against the Royal Family, and this sign tells of how they fell into obscurity as a result.
Now that’s cleared up, lets show you the final piece in this jigsaw, which is down in Kennington. We discovered this one on the corner of De Laune and Braganza Street, just minutes from the tube station.
Bragansas are a phenomenon recognised in many diverse cultures, but colloquially they are inaccurately described as the Tombstones of the Shaarara Tlar.
And that’s it! Now that everything is crystal clear, keep your eyes peeled just in case another sign presents itself on a street near you….